Our Story....

It's been about 6 weeks since I had Kamri; things did not go as I had expected- or that anyone  had expected for that matter.  We got to the hospital at 7 am on Wednesday May 8th.  I was ready, I was excited- I just wanted to have my baby and experience what almost any other woman had experienced when they gave birth.  That first day was a long day, my cervix was still closed so they used a prostoglandin gel on my cervix to "ripen" it and then they used a quartered pill called Cytotec (you should Google it some time- I wish I could have done some research on it before it was given to me...) to place on my cervix.  This pill was also used to "ripen" my cervix.  Finally on Thursday at 7 am I was hooked up to the pitosin.  Around 11 am I had my epidural as I couldn't stand the pain of my contractions anymore.  When I was checked around 12:30 pm I was at 7 cm- almost an 8.  I told CJ that if he was going to eat, he had better go get some food because this was going to happen soon!  
He went and got a Subway sandwich and brought it back to the room to eat.  Just as he was finishing up eating, I suddenly felt very sick- very hot, a little light headed.  I wasn't able to focus on anything very well.  I asked CJ if my face was red and told him that I didn't feel well- something wasn't right and he needed to get someone in there asap!  He called the nurse to come in- she rushed in and she checked me and said that I was ready to have the baby- someone handed me a barf bag- good thing because I had suddenly felt very ill. They wanted me to push, but I wasn't able to, I suddenly had no energy- they used the vacuum a couple of times and Kamri still didn't come out, they told me at that point that I was going to have an emergency C-section and within seconds they were running down the hall with me- yelling at people to get out of the way and to hold doors open for them. (It really seemed like a scene from a movie!)  I remember thinking the whole time that this was not suppose to happen this way and that something was seriously wrong with me.  Little did I know, that it did end up being very serious.  
After waking up in the recovery room, the nurses were massaging my uterus to get it to contract, but all I could feel was blood gushing out of me- they couldn't get it to stop- so they took me back into the OR and opened me back up in the same spot that they did the c-section. My doctor did a procedure called the B-Lynch procedure which is they suture my uterus to get it to contract- after doing that, they sewed me back up only to find out that I was still hemorrhaging.  My doctor talked to CJ and it was determined that in order to save my life, they had to take my uterus out so an emergency hysterectomy was performed on me.  When I was told of this my second time in the recovery room- I just sobbed.  I had just had my first child and now they were telling me that I wasn't able to have any more.  I didn't understand it then, I don't understand it now- and I may never understand why everything went so wrong.  Because of all the trauma that my body had gone through- losing all that blood (I had had 6 or 7 units of blood during the surgeries), having 3 major abdominal surgeries within hours of each other, my kidneys shut down.  I had 20 liters of fluid on my body (that's an extra 60 something pounds!) making it so that my lungs started to fill with fluid so I wasn't able to breathe.  I was put on several different breathing machines to prevent pneumonia (thank goodness I didn't get that!) It just seemed that one thing after another went wrong. I was in ICU for about 5 days and ended up being in the hospital for 2 weeks.  During that stay I had a total of 10 units of blood given to me, I had 5 kidney dialysis treatments, I had a CT scan, my blood was drawn well over a hundred times, I got something called c-diff- which is a bacteria in my intestine.  It just seems the list goes on.....but enough about me, lets get to Kamri.
Kamri was unresponsive when she was delivered- so she was immediately put on oxygen and then sedated and put on a cooling pad (which she had to be on for 72 hours) to make it so that her brain wouldn't swell because they weren't sure how long she had actually gone without oxygen.  She was taken to the NICU where she stayed for a week- so she was released before I was.  
The first time that I saw her, which wasn't until late Friday afternoon (that's over 24 hours before I could see her!) the first thing I noticed was her big feet!  It was so heartbreaking to see her with all those tubes and IV's stuck to her.

 This is me getting ready to go see Kamri for the first time!!  

I was so excited- all I had seen was pictures of her

Our first family pic.....not so great and not exactly what I had had in mind......

I told CJ that since everyone got to see Kamri before I did, that no one should get to hold her before I do.  He totally honored that, and I was the first one to hold her- besides the nurses of course- after she got off the cooling pad and was warmed up.

What an overwhelming feeling to finally be able to hold her after waiting 5 long days...

I couldn't keep my tears in, they just poured out as I finally was able to hold

 her close to me and kiss her on her little fuzzy head

It's been a crazy ride and not exactly how we had expected the birth of our one and only baby to go, but every day we say a little prayer thanking God that he watched over us and giving us this most precious baby......

I don't think I would have been able to make it through this ordeal as well as I have without my family- both immediate and extended- or without all the prayers that were said on mine and Kamri's behalf.  We thank everyone, from the bottom of our hearts for caring.  Physically, I am doing so much better- I still have some recovery to do, my kidney function is coming back, my energy level is almost back to normal- I'm feeling much much better!  Emotionally- it's still hard for me to think about everything that happened and coming to grips with the fact that I will only have one child- I am, however, extremely grateful that I DO have one perfect, beautiful baby girl and I pray every day that nothing that she went through will effect her later on in life (her doctors said there is a possibility of delays or other problems).  I am also grateful that I am alive and here and able to raise her.  I am also so grateful that I have a husband who loves me and Kamri and was able to take care of her not only while I was still in the hospital, but also after I got home for a few weeks.  He has a special bond with her and I just love watching him hold her and talk to her- it makes my heart happy!